andersonenvy (andersonenvy) wrote in topfive_reviews,

Top 5 Worst Movies Ever

TOP 5 - Worst Movies Ever

They make Ed Wood look like Orson Welles. They make Madonna look like
Audrey Hepburn. They make me look like a huge geek for writing this.


written/reviewed by Kenny

05: From Justin to Kelly - 2003

This barely even qualifies as a movie. Whatever network runs American Idol decided the best way to make even more money off their ridiculous karaoke contest was to produce a musical with their most popular singers. Forget characters, story, and acting ability, this is pure money hog garbage.

Worst Moment: Out of nowhere, Justin and Kelly break into song aboard a boat


04: Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire - 2005

If it weren't for the somewhat entertaining dragon fight, this might be my #1 or #2 worst movie. Without a trace of a sensible plot, this movie drags on for 2.5 hours in every which-way, without ever making a shred of sense, then abruptly ends without a point. There are too many flaws to even mention here, so if you'd like to read my full review please click here.

Worst Moment: Potter saves a boy from harmless vines in a maze

03: Suspiria - 1977

This was actually rated by another blog as "Greatest Horror Film of All
Time"... so, I made the regrettable mistake of watching it. Wow.
Filmed in uber-technicolor, this movie comes complete with some of the worst visual and sound effects ever filmed. They spent so much time attempting to gross-out the viewer, they forgot to add a plot. Even still, I wouldn't watch this movie on 'shrooms.

Worst Moment: Cab ride sound effects at the beginning

02: Xanadu - 1980

Even at my 7th birthday party at the roller-rink, this movie sucked major balls. A disco-musical on rollerskates, each passing moment gets worse and worse. Even the main idea is too cheesy to take seriously: a muse from heaven sheds her wings to be with a mere mortal disco dancer??? Nothing can save this embarrassing disaster except the credits.

Worst Moment: Rock band vs. swing band sequence

01: Going Overboard - 1989

As an avid maker of horrible short films, I can respect most bad movies for their comedy value. It's always fun to take a break from trying to find good movies, and sit down to laugh your ass off at Plan 9, Gigli, or Deep Blue Sea. Unfortunately, this movie is too atrocious to even make fun of. Obviously released after Sandler's big break with Billy Madison, his first film could even make Hellen Keller want to leave the room. The only entertainment is trying to figure out how Adam Sandler, Billy Zane, and Alan Covert ever launched a career from this starting point.

Worst Moment: Droning, 15 minute long bar scene

Tags: lists, movies
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