saltyweeks (saltyweeks) wrote in topfive_reviews,

Salty's Harry Potter pics & (funny?) comments

Here are some of my favorite pics from Order of the Phoenix. As usual, I couldn't resist a jest or two.

Order of the Phoenix pics & comments 

Here they are, our heroes. Three friends, trying with all their might to return the Ring of Power to the fires of Mordor. Can they defeat the forces of the Dark Lord Sauron now that Gandalf has fallen into the shadows? Can Harry resist the deadly lure of the ring?

Who knows? The films are never like the books.

The boy himself. Recently he acted on stage in the nude. The reviews all said that he was great, even though he was performing with a much smaller wand.

Girl power. You gotta love it. I wouldn't have had the courage to talk to any of them in high school. If I was at Hogwarts, I would have hung with that Neville kid, and studied leaves or something.

Ron Wesley. The chief second. First Mate. The VP. Backup quarterback. Right-hand man. Best friend. Best man. boy. Co-pilot. Surgeon on call. Night shift. Understudy. Second place. Second prize. Old reliable. Album cut. The other computer. Spare key. Christmas card, no gift. Kind of like dating your sister.

Well, how many can YOU come up with?

"Listen to me carefully, Harry. Every decision I have made in my life has led me to disaster. All of my friends are either dead or have become some kind of horrible beast-thing. I spent the better part of my life in the world's most terrible prison, and even though I managed a brief escape after decades of torment I promptly got myself caught again, and you had to spring me. I have been on the run ever since, while the Dark Lord has been destroying all your lives and killing people left and right, and I haven't done one thing to stop him. And I am absolutely, certifiably insane by every definition known to man."

"But forget all that now. What I want you to do is trust me, and run to that exact spot right over there, near where the Death Eaters are casting those deadly spells. Don't be afraid, I really think I am due for a good idea and this could finally be the movie."

You know, one thing you have to give old Darth Vader is that he knew when it was time to put on a helmet.

Look at that stare. That glare. Those eyes. They look right through you, whispering their icy call: give me more screen time, give me more screen time, give me more screen time.

It is one thing to encounter a teenage girl who is a total flake, but it is quite another to encounter a teenage girl who is a total flake and is pointing a magic wand at you. There is nothing more embarrasing than to be spell-blasted by the love child of Peter, Paul & Mary.

Ok, I'll admit it. I don't care what anybody says. I like him. Sure he's an evil bastard. But look at that hair. That's some cool hair, man. I'd kill for that hair. This guy could give up magic and front Def Leppard.

This is the most stable character she's played in years.

No hints, now. Where is the unhappy traitor?

I actually had this lady as a teacher. She taught third grade. I remember she got mad at me because I didn't know where New Mexico was. Who the hell knows where New Mexico is? For one thing, duh, it's NEW. That's in the dang name. So it takes a while for kids to catch up. Bitch.

"Yep, I'm not saying anything. I'm going to sit still and look pretty and not say a thing. I'm biding my time. Just waiting. I can do it. Just wait, that's all I have to do. Wait. Not say anything. Let those idiots blunder all around me, I won't say a thing. Let that Hermonie have all those lines, and that Chow slut do the kissing. Let the boys spell this and curse that. Just wait. Waiting, that's what I'm doing. Playing the old waiting game. Someday, you stupid gits, someday..."

"For Hecate's sake. Maybe I'll just do some research and make my own damn boy."

Who the heck are those twerps???
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